we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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