JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
