just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize