I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize