You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
