I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
