you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
