Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You've changed since you got that strap on
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize