I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
