Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
