if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
