I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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