I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
