Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wish i was in the wii world.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
