Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
