I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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