i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
