I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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