That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
