Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
