omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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