do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
