Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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