Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize