someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
