dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
