hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I wear drunk well.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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