Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
