she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
