yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
