a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
