420 ftw
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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