dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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