YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
