You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
