Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
