Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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