3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just wanna soil my oats bro
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
