Already got asked if we're dating
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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