I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
