Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
