I just saw a hot homeless man
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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