There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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