turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
