PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
