So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
