Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
