guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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