then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
