y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
