Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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