Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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