I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
