i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
