Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize