I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
