You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
