I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
