maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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