Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
