We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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