we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I need water and some morals
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