Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
