just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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