Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
