between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
